TWO LINES

…..on a pee stick, that is.**insert trumpets** That’s right, I’m pregnant!

((exhale)) That allows me to explain my exhaustion, my nausea, the spitting, and lack of focus. I’m just so tired!

I know it’s limited time stuff, but that does not make it any easier. I have this new thing where saliva constantly builds up in my mouth. I have to carry a spit cup sometimes. Disgusting as that sounds, I keep it quiet and hidden. Well, except when I’m outdoors 🙂

I appreciate my husband for his patience and understanding. I could literally sleep all day. Sometimes I do! I sleep in the car, after class and well past the snooze button. But G is always there rubbing my back or sometimes my tummy. He holds me during the violent throw-up sessions and high-fives me after I’m done. That’s his way of saying “You’re awesome.”

He cooks for us and buys us meals if we are on the go. The odd part about that is that I can’t even eat half the time. My already keen sense of smell has heightened to insane levels and stinkiness makes me wanna vomit. He laughs when I put my hand over his mouth in the morning and utter “breath”.

I have learned: Salsa from my job makes me sick, all kinds of cranberry juices make me sick, the smell of simmering onions makes me sick, my son has morning breath, there is a weird sewage kinda smell coming from the second bathroom in my home, when I wake up from a nap I’m super nauseous, shivering from cold makes me wanna vomit and ginger does NOT help calm my stomach. (I think it’s the opposite)

I cannot wait to get past this first trimester. I look forward to getting some energy back and being able to function like normal. My husband wants me to wake up early with him and go for walks through the neighborhood. Yeah, that’s a funny thought considering I can’t get from the FA building to the Business building without breathing hard. I sure do appreciate his determination.

Fashion and Sexuality

Interesting debate in community corrections today. The topic got way off topic, and almost out of hand. We talked about hoochies, hoes, and sluts. Yeah, I think that summed it up LoL.

My professor had been keeping tabs on the ongoing Sandusky sexual abuse scandal. He was curious as to why most male victims remain silent, and why some women never confess to their victimization.  Various reasons were discussed, like the male ego, masculinity, and the responsibility and strength society has placed on our men. I mentioned that women sometimes don’t speak up because they may feel that in some way, they asked to be abused.  That maybe she was wearing a short skirt, maybe she has big boobs, or maybe she was actually flirting with him. All of the above could lead her to take the blame for the rape or abuse.  Let me first be clear before I continue this blog…

RAPE IS IN NO WAY JUSTIFIABLE. No form of sex can be  justified without consent.

All kinds of comments were thrown out by the men in our class. Some of them made sense, others were simply misguided. That being said, lets get to the part that intrigued me the most.

Does what a woman wears project a certain image of her?

Yes, yes it does.

That led us to discuss the reasons women dress a certain way. The men said that women are obsessed with impressing and upstaging other females. They said they want the men to look so that they can be chased. The men felt that women wanted to play that game.

To which we ladies responded, all of the above are correct. Women can be incredibly insecure, competitive, and well, in a word, bitches. We tried to explain that if a woman says no, move on to the next. Heck, the ratio of men to women is something like 7 to 1. Keep trying, because one of those girls is going to willingly give it up. And have fun doing it (LOL)!

Yes, we females should not have to be so concerned with dressing appropriately because some men cannot control their urges. My mom thinks its sad that we can’t all just walk around naked. To that I say, BLAH. That is not the world we live in. We can speak on a utopian society all day, but I choose to focus on our reality.

A middle age Caucasian student agreed with me, in that women need to dress the way they wish to be treated.Call me sexist, ignorant or whatever, I’m just dealing with the real. I don’t like it, but changing that image would be a complete societal reversal. You can’t fight fire with fire. (Or hoes with hoes LoL)

I think Mr. Dave Chappelle summed it up best.

“…just because they dress a certain way, doesn’t mean they are a certain way, don’t ever forget it. But ladies, you must understand that that is  f****** confusing. Now that would be like me, Dave Chappelle the comedian, walking around the streets in a cop uniform. Somebody might run up on me! ‘OH! Thank God. Officer, help us, come on, they are right over here. HELP US!’ I’m not gonna be like ‘Oh, just because I’m dressed this way, does not make me a police officer.’

You understand what I’m saying. It’s like alright ladies, fine, fine, you are not a whore. But you are wearing a whores uniform…”

Oh, but the same can be said for boys who wear their pants sagging off their butts. SO unattractive! If said boy went to a job interview, dressed in such a manner, he would be quickly dismissed. And for good reason! But when he becomes a victim of discrimination, he wants to call the Rev. Al Sharpton to grandstand on TV about the white man.

We also reminded the men that they have a CHOICE to act on that girl with the daisy dukes on. Again, if she isn’t turned on to your advances, move on.

As the last comment of the discussion, I briefly mentioned how middle Eastern and Muslim women dress. I interviewed a veiled Muslim woman once, and she said she wore her hijab (head scarf) because it allowed people to see the real her. That made me think …society places so much importance on superficial things. Once I cut a large amount of my hair off, just for convenience sake, and I was appalled at the opinions of people who I considered friends. I am not my hair. Just as I am not the skirt I am wearing.

If I was covered from head to toe in a burkah, what would I be. Still Jessica. I think the difference between my freak nasty girls, and those quiet covered women, is self-esteem. If you were to lose all those things that you think make you beautiful, what would you have left? Some women don’t have the personality to simply be themselves. To love themselves in all and every which way. That is the start. I hope to teach my daughters that.

You are beautiful, special, and unique. Know who you are, WHOSE you are, and thrive in it.